listening to the queer but surprisingly calming sounds of rachael yamagata, its as if time was at a standstill. its great that my work is in order, somewhat, knowingly underneath that strangely neat pile of papers the dangers of work lurk beneath. but not right now. i don't want to know that right now. for the moment, i just want to be away, doing what i need to do. some healing of the soul.
can't be bothered now. about nice things, about being structurally integrated, about being accurate, or intelligent, or smart, or charming. i don't have the energy to be all that except to just be, myself.