Sunday, August 11, 2002

A sense of greatness

This is where I want to be right now. Lying comfortably in my bed with my notebook on my lap, typing away into the night. In every instance of every phase of life we go through I think we have an ideal vision of what we want to be and where we want to be. I'd say most of the time we aren't at where we visualize we are...some of us live our lives like that, accepting that things will never be according to what we want, according to the way we want it to be. Some of us fight to be where we want to be, standing up for what we believe in, turning them into magical stories of faith and perseverance. What do you think is the appropriate thing to do - if you aren't where you want to be?

I think that sometimes we don't want something badly enough, that's why just merely going with the flow seems such a nice and pleasant idea. Its like a plane ride, you get on board and the pilot takes you to your destination, everything is cool, people serve you whatever you want to be served. Of course in that instance if you wanted to oppose your destination you could be labelled a terrorist - eg. 'Turn this flight around and fly us all to Moscow where my Comrades are waiting!'. Or perhaps that was a wrong analogy...

Anyway I've always believed that you could be whatever you wanted to be. So much so that settling for mediocrity seemed like giving up, in that sense. I believed that if I wanted something bad enough I'll go all out to get it, to achieve it and accomplish it. Have I reached my goals? I was thinking about it every now and then. This constant re-evaluation is quite tiresome, but absolutely necessary. I found that I had wasted quite a lot of my life away doing absolutely nothing. It would seem as though I am some kind of tyrannical achiever, a do or die person. Am I? No, don't answer that. I was asking myself...:P

Isn't it funny how some movies inspire you? I love being inspired by a sense of greatness. The last movie I watched on tv was 'Remember the Titans', with Denzel Washington. It was, as I expected an extremely good movie. The main theme was basically being motivated, pushing your limits, being inspired. I had been pushed to the limits before, time and time again, up to a point where the limit was a standard and maintaining that standard was a way of life. Its that point where you think to yourself that you can't possibly go on any further and everything else around you is falling apart and breaking into tiny fragments and it's so easy to just let go...but you don't. That's an achievement by itself.

I believe that everyone has a right to that sense of greatness, that sense of accomplishment. I don't suppose a lot of people would go through lengths to incorporate that into their lives, but imagine the overwhelming feeling you'll get when you realize that you can be much more, that you can do much more than this, and that you can ultimately change and affect the lives around you. That's when you know you can stand up tall, yell at the top of your lungs, 'I did it!', and feel like a million bucks.

'Money can't buy love, but then again love doesn't buy money either.'