the art of rescheduling

Waking up at 6am isn't easy. In fact, its far from being even remotely funny, but the last 2 days I have been getting up at 6am. My alarm clock rings while I am driving. I find that quite sad. Well, I use the alarm on my phone, you see. Anyway the reason for this self-torturing procedure is in a name of one word that may send shivers down many a spine: Golf.

A few years ago if I remembered correctly, some friends of mine took it up. Largely, I avoided it all all cost. It wasn't exactly the most exciting thing in the world to do. And by getting up early in the morning, I still think that it isn't the most exciting thing in the world to do. I'd rather just duke it out on my N-Gage. But that's besides the point.

The point is, I have come to realize that I suck at ball games. I didn't just miraculously realize this, I had known it all along. But this time, I can honestly say that yeah, my sense of coordination, is just out of whack. Hitting a 100 balls at the driving range is easy, it builds up a good sweat and by the end of the basket you just wanna finish it and head home. The difficult part is hitting it 'right'.

There is a way to stand, there is a way to swing, you shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do that. Personally, I'd prefer the silent swoosh of the arrow being flung at high velocity. Golf is too peaceful, and too difficult. Its a contrasting contradiction. I thought it was some kind of relaxing sport, where you dress up like a dork and spend all afternoon trying to get the ball in the hole.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

some kinda love story

Almost every movie I watch, there are some elements of love in it. I suppose its essential, its a human thing, and sometimes the picture perfect love story, even though we shun it, I think we secretly want to live it. Imagine that, problems that come up can be resolved, and the most important of all, you end up happily ever after.

Damn. Sometimes real life sucks.

Songs in my head 1

where do I go,
if there are tears,
how can I sleep,
with my fears,
still lingering.

still saddened by the thoughts,
still scarred by it all,
just trying to get my life,
get it back again.

what happens now,
when its all broken,
i'm your pain, your sorrow,
that doesn't go away.

its just not right,
that i'm gonna be looking now,
to find another life,
to erase this part of mine,
its excessive,
its compulsive,
its everything i hope it,
wouldn't be.
but its necessary.

so, what happens now,
when its all broken,
i'm your pain, your sorrow,
that doesn't go away,
what would you say?

breaking out

I'm currently addicted to The Sims on N-Gage...its funny how life relates to it, or does it relate to life? Go home, walk around, do stuff, earn money. Talk and socialize. Its all very idealistic, and thats what makes it immersive. Plus, I don't have to place the toilets in the living room anymore.*

*Back in the day when The Sims came out, I placed the toilet smack in the middle of the living room for maximum efficiency. Well, the household broke down, and everyone died, or something to that extent. Anyway I told myself that this kinda games that require planning, aren't right for me.

Anyhow, I still find it funny that I'm addicted to it, and hope that my life was so easy. Do I want to live an idealistic life? Or does the thought of simplicity appeal to me? What if life was nothing more than interactive 3D models?

nauseating fish stomach

Chinese food is okay, but what they categorize as exquisite 'fine dining' chinese food, well, I'll have to think twice about that. There's something about eating food that is unnatural like it was meant to be in an episode of Fear factor, that unsettles me. Being adventurous in food? Me? I say stick to the basics, you can cook it differently, but don't cook a different body part that usually I don't know what it is. Like for instance today I ate a smooth, almost starchy piece of thing, that was in a stew. Later when I was done wondering how it slithered down my throat did I know that it was fish stomach. I was like...what? That's really not fish. You know tuna? I like tuna. I like tuna in a can, I like tuna raw, I like tuna with some lemon and pepper or soya sauce. So if this was the stomach...where is the fish?

Man. Fish was so far away from the menu today, I wouldn't see it if I wanted to with binoculars.

But somehow these kinda things, like shark's fin, for example, leave a bad taste in my mouth. An aftertaste, or perhaps an afterthought. And don't even get me started on pig intestines. I used to think they were sausages of some sort. Mmm Mmm! Then we eventually were thought that it was the bolus that traps most bacteria that doesn't DIE. So we're eating spiced, diseased, pig parts. But hey, you only live once right?

Perhaps its just safer just to be vegetarian.

Yeah right!