creepy calm

listening to the queer but surprisingly calming sounds of rachael yamagata, its as if time was at a standstill. its great that my work is in order, somewhat, knowingly underneath that strangely neat pile of papers the dangers of work lurk beneath. but not right now. i don't want to know that right now. for the moment, i just want to be away, doing what i need to do. some healing of the soul.

can't be bothered now. about nice things, about being structurally integrated, about being accurate, or intelligent, or smart, or charming. i don't have the energy to be all that except to just be, myself.

Dying - Fiveforfighting

I'm Dying, Dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again
I'm Dying, Dying to forget about you, that you ever lived
There's a shade come over this heart that's coping with laying down to rest
I'm Dying to live without you again

I'm Dying, Dying to find a distraction, get you away from me
I'm Dying, Dying to reach a conclusion, so that the world can see
It's the same old story of love and glory that broke before it bent
I'm Dying to live without you again

The first time you left I said goodbye
Now there's not a prayer that can survive

Dying, Dying to die just to come back so we can meet again
Dying, Dying to say what I always should have said
It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...

I'm Dying and I can't live without you
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again