Thursday, June 30, 2005

Falling 12 feet

What is 12 feet? Merely 3.65 metres.

Perched up on top of the attic that's still under construction I begin to wonder about my initial fear of heights. Walking on plywood boards and the fear of falling through them and breaking a kneecap, or hitting my head on one of the support beams before falling thru and breaking a kneecap is quite prominent. I would've felt better if it was much higher, then at least I would be sensible enough to wear a harness of some sort, which is why my stand that skydiving is relatively safe, still stands. Its this in-between heights that are the deadlier ones. You know you won't die, but run a great risk of being in great pain - all a matter of how you choose to land, that's all.

Then there's the question of, why do you even want to fall? As long as you keep your legs still and step surefootedly where its safe, then the risk of falling is minimal, not unless you account for the loose sand/cement that will alleviate the slip. The only way to really get over the fear is to revisit it, over and over again. Even then you never really get over it, but you're more in control of it. We all have fears of our own, its just a question of understanding it, and learning from it.

I stood there for the longest time that day, looking down at the ground below. I didn't feel like I quite belonged there yet. But I knew that its not going to be as challenging for long, once they put a proper stairs and the railings and flooring comes in, it'll be safe again. We take safe for granted sometimes.

In other news, I'm suddenly sold on an ATV, or all terrain vehicle. What will I use it for? Why, I don't know...what won't I use it for?