Saturday, March 09, 2002

understated intelligence, overstated stupidity >>

Its four thirty or rather sixteenthirtyhours in military time. What do I want to do today? Nothing, absolutely nothing at all. Lie on my back. Close my eyes, rest. I had been thinking way too much lately and the added stress would just jostle me into the deep end, and as you know, this holds true for all deep ends, you never do get out, unless you're in a bad B-movie and you're an attractive female who miraculously loses your clothes while running away from a non-existent freak of nature, then you might get out...which by the way reminds me, I watched Survivor 4 yesterday, it's quite evident who's leading, but overall it's a lot better but I wish I could b***h-slap someone whenever they say 'alliances', coz it just spoils all the fun.

For a one liner, this is a very long line, so I shall stop now. Tune in to keep up.

Friday, March 08, 2002

[your] RUBBISH, my [ART]

It just so happens that sometimes coincidences happen so predictably that you form a theory to explain this seemingly illogical act of nature. Freak of nature. Well mine would be, if I don't take my camera out, strange things will just zip by in front of me as if mocking me 'regret not taking out your camera now? don't ya? moron!' yes the little voice in my head constantly taunts me.

Just yesterday I was about to leave the office due to claustrophobic reasons (and yes that is a good reason to flee from anything...bad dates, in-laws, people trying to sell you things you don't need...) for lunch, and in my bag were all my camera equipment, see? I made an effort to switch to my smaller, standard lens coz I thought I'd bring it out, but then again I was thinking...I'm here for about 5 months now and lunch was never anything interesting...why now? In the end I decided that I would just walk there, have lunch then get back and then life would resume its course.

About 50 metres to the road. Nothing. Good. I saw many things, bored office people going for lunch, bored office people going for lunch talking on their mobile/cellphones(depending on where you're living), pretentious people trying to make their lives more interesting by pretending they aren't bored office people going for lunch. So far so good, life is normal. Then all of a sudden I am greeted by a loud roar of a superbike coming in from my left, zipping past me and the rider was one of those Taliban-like people in full garb. How queer is that? Hmm...just that I don't see much of that around. Should've taken a picture...bah.

Well I was at lunch, okay now I shall slowly disconnect from the 'missed picture opportunities' phase coz I dont want to ramble about the cute children that were laughing or the man blowing bubbles with some kids hanging around him or the excellent lighting at the Taiwan Noodle Shop that I had lunch that looked rustic, among other things. So now I was at lunch. Sitting quietly after ordering, observing my surroundings. Is it because I am more acute when I'm not having anything to do?

These 2 men came sitting at the table adjacent to mine. Okay, very well. They started ordering their food in Mandarin. Strange, but they had a funny accent attached to their Mandarin, like they weren't proficient. True I am none the better but then I let that go, then they started speaking to each other in Mandarin. Extra strange, coz they really were fumbling with their words trying to hold up a conversation in a language that they don't speak in the first place. Perhaps I was overly critical or sour, or perhaps I didn't have anything to do. Mobile rings, man picks up phone, talks in Cantonese. Natural. Ah, so why don't they carry out the conversation in Cantonese in the first place? Nevermind. One man orders noodles with less noodles, one orders one with more noodles. Fair enough. Then when the food arrives, the man who ordered the less noodles portion interrogates the waitress, demanding to know which one is the lesser. I was thinking...if you are customizing your lunch, you should know how it's going to turn out, here's a tip, look at your friggin' food and decide for yourself!

I ate in silence, just as usual. Morons. Thought the little voice in my head. I most absolutely have to agree.

Thursday, March 07, 2002

Opening [sequence]

For there is a reason for everything, perhaps sometimes the quest for truth has halted our lives somewhat, or slowed it down. I remember the times when I was constantly searching for truth, meaning. Did I find it? Yes. Truth is a non-lie and meaning is a description of truth. But we don't necessarily work on the platform of truth and lies, or truth versus lies for that matter. Since most of what we are basing our lives on are lies anyway.

Pretty morbid, pretty...beauty. Its funny how we associate a bad thing with a good thing. Does that make it all better? I know associating a good thing with a bad thing is a good thing. Keeps perspective. Much like pain, see? Pain is good coz it makes you appreciate normality more. Some people just get stuck in the pain cycle. Its sick, its pathetic. It should be ended. Somebody should just disappear.

The chill of cool air constantly reminding me that I have feelings, and being stuck in this small space does not bring about claustrophobic thoughts. No, I am a happy contented worker. Maybe that's just the B Complex talking. Maybe its the OD on vitamins that makes me believe that I am actually better, healthier, stronger. Maybe it doesn't do jack. I sincerely hope jack isn't listening to this.

All my thoughts are focused on the weekend. Yes...the moment of truth begins at 1730hours on Friday. That's where the fun begins. And such a wide selection of fun indeed! So many places to go and things to do. But yet I find myself stuck in a little enclosure. Its a haven, I tell ya. Its comfort zone. Ichiban! Little voice in my head tells me what I don't really need to be anywhere else but here. Here is good. Stay here. You will like it here. Eventually.

And eventually indeed, I will lull myself. No, wait, the little voice will lull me into thinking that everything is indeed good, and nice, and pretty. Perhaps that's the reason why I have been docile as a sheep. Why are sheep docile anyway? I mean, someone gives you a close shave then proceeds to marinade you in different sauces and the eventual realization that you will be one with the barbeque pit. Morbid, yes. But if done right, downright delicious.

[brain] tuning out.