Thursday, March 07, 2002

Opening [sequence]

For there is a reason for everything, perhaps sometimes the quest for truth has halted our lives somewhat, or slowed it down. I remember the times when I was constantly searching for truth, meaning. Did I find it? Yes. Truth is a non-lie and meaning is a description of truth. But we don't necessarily work on the platform of truth and lies, or truth versus lies for that matter. Since most of what we are basing our lives on are lies anyway.

Pretty morbid, Its funny how we associate a bad thing with a good thing. Does that make it all better? I know associating a good thing with a bad thing is a good thing. Keeps perspective. Much like pain, see? Pain is good coz it makes you appreciate normality more. Some people just get stuck in the pain cycle. Its sick, its pathetic. It should be ended. Somebody should just disappear.

The chill of cool air constantly reminding me that I have feelings, and being stuck in this small space does not bring about claustrophobic thoughts. No, I am a happy contented worker. Maybe that's just the B Complex talking. Maybe its the OD on vitamins that makes me believe that I am actually better, healthier, stronger. Maybe it doesn't do jack. I sincerely hope jack isn't listening to this.

All my thoughts are focused on the weekend. Yes...the moment of truth begins at 1730hours on Friday. That's where the fun begins. And such a wide selection of fun indeed! So many places to go and things to do. But yet I find myself stuck in a little enclosure. Its a haven, I tell ya. Its comfort zone. Ichiban! Little voice in my head tells me what I don't really need to be anywhere else but here. Here is good. Stay here. You will like it here. Eventually.

And eventually indeed, I will lull myself. No, wait, the little voice will lull me into thinking that everything is indeed good, and nice, and pretty. Perhaps that's the reason why I have been docile as a sheep. Why are sheep docile anyway? I mean, someone gives you a close shave then proceeds to marinade you in different sauces and the eventual realization that you will be one with the barbeque pit. Morbid, yes. But if done right, downright delicious.

[brain] tuning out.