Tuesday, May 16, 2006


It drizzled lightly that morning, that cold, dark morning. It was as if everyone was still fast asleep, snuggled under their comforters, relishing in the plush, fresh feeling of linen at their feet on that particularly gloomy morning. It felt too much like a Monday to warrant any act of getting out of bed. It was as if Monday morning blues was the reason to stay in bed and not care about the worries of the world.

Ah, the blues. Depression, anxiety, fear. Nothing speaks more of it than the seemingly coincidental string of events that has happened so far. Of course, there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidence. Once you realize that fact then everything begins to make sense, thats when you achieve clarity.

The mind works while the body rests, if at all. The idea of rest light years away. Rest is sleep is waking up voluntarily. Rest is sleeping when fatigue sets in. Lets just call it the point.

Funny thing about that point is that you're there, but you're not. Its interesting because life can pass you by at moments like these. Its weakness, its drifting off, its a point of 'i'm-listening-but-i'm-not-really-here'. Its when a person would feel like thats the absolute bestest time they can unleash, or unload their thoughts and secrets and closet skeletons because you are semi-conscious. It is then you know, but you don't know. Then you think, then you sleep, then you wake up, then you wonder, then you feel anger, frustration, and then you just want to sleep again, all this while having your eyes closed.

Then you wake up, and you're forced to find clarity. You want to know. But yet you don't, and then you do, eventually. Clarity, what joy.