Monday, June 20, 2005

Destiny's little hands

The air swirled with a nasty addiction, with every swirl the echoes of abstinence. I sat there looking at the world I chose to leave behind and progress forward but at the same time curious of its current development. We never really leave. We merely relocate, but yet we are the same.

Its this similarity that drives us to make the same decisions each and every time albeit in different forms but essentially they are the similarly themed ones. Every time. Its like a bad dream that one can only dream about running away from but don't know how.

Method; derived from various sources, self-help books, know-it-all friends, or the occasional cynical one would offer suggestions on how you always should make the other choice. Its perhaps the only way they stay in business, by telling you why the other option is the better one. Sometimes it makes me sick reading about people's opinions on life. My life especially, or the lives of people around you. People seem to have such colorful descriptions on life! While mine is forever looped in a faded technicolor that seems to be making a comeback. Its so pretty to look at sometimes, I can stare at it forever, even though it may just be an imaginary technicolor loop.

My fingers shivered at the thought of tying up loose ends. Some things were better left in their vegetative state but what I am not one of them. Perhaps it was due to my naturally carnivorous personality that I wouldn't allow it to become so. The origin of meat, in any form whatsoever; diced, sliced, minced, sauteed, broiled, fried, comes from the a live source. The more backtracking you do, the more you become vegetarian. I have my vegetarian states at various points in my life. Its funny how weak I get, its not even really funny and you just want to bite into a cow. Maybe that would be a bad idea, I heard they smell pretty lurid.

250 minutes to go before it'll happen. When you think about your life in terms of time, it seems to become more significant. Every second wastes away in decadent thoughts as you wonder what your next minutes will be spent doing what where. When faced with a difficult crossroad no trigonometry professor will be able to solve, the wisest decision will come from a fool, who will tell you to 'get off the damn intersection' coz you're holding up traffic.

If a fool makes sense, then what of me? I ponder as I gracefully sidestep into the darkness. For what lies beyond may not make much sense to me now. What of fate? and what of destiny? If we altered our fate by taking chances, would it lead us closer to our destiny?